Day One Hundred and Thirty-Five

Holidays, Day Eight

The day after Christmas is usually a pretty laid back day. That was as true of today as it is any other year.

We visited Granny and got to see Aunt Barbara and Uncle Butch for a bit. We got to Granny’s just about 30 minutes before Milo’s nap time, so we didn’t get to stay too long. Actually, we stayed a bit longer than we should have, so Milo was super tired when we left. She fell asleep in her carseat about 1 minute after we pulled out of the driveway. While there, Milo got lots of love from everyone, especially Aunt Barbara. Stanley, Aunt Barbara’s schnauzer, who is possibly the calmest and most cuddly dog I’ve ever met, was very interested in Milo, as well. Though we couldn’t be sure whether this is because she’s a baby and he’s never seen one or because Aunt Barbara was showing her so much attention.

After that, Milo had about a 2 hour nap at Mom’s, and then we left for Lynn’s. Chase and I got to spend a lot of special time with Olivia; she let me paint with her at her tiny table, and she let Chase take her for a ride in Kyle’s new kayak. Milo also had an opportunity to roll around on the floor and nap on Lynn and Matt’s fancy sleep number bed. While on the floor, Milo showed everyone just how easy it is for her to roll in all directions. She’s also really working hard on crawling, though she’s not quite strong enough yet.

Finally, in the evening, we all snacked on leftover Christmas dinner before putting Milo to bed and watching The Polar Express. I heard Milo crying about 90 minutes after we’d originally put her down, so when it sounded like she was not going to soothe herself, I decided to check on her. I should also mention that we’ve been putting her in a Peapod at night to sleep since we’re on vacation and it’s easy to tote around on the airplane.

When I went in the room, I didn’t see her in the peapod, but I chalked it up to needing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. So, I knelt by the peapod and felt inside: nothing! I was freaked out. I could still hear my girl crying, but she was not in her bed. Well, I found her about 3 feet away in the bathroom doorway on her tummy! She had rolled all that way while still swaddled!! I decided to nurse her a bit to soothe both our nerves. My girl went on her first adventure!

Notes:

• Milo’s fingernails grow so stinking fast! I have to trim them about once per week now, but at least she stays reasonably still when I do this now.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Four

Baby's First Christmas

We effectively wore Milo out yesterday, as she slept for nearly 12 hours last night. She did wake up to eat at 2am, but she went right back to sleep, which Chase and I were incredibly grateful for. We were exhausted!

Today was equally exhausting, I suspect. Milo was up at around 8:15, then we loafed around and helped Mom with a little bit of dinner prep. After that, it was off to Dad’s house for the first round of gift-giving; of course, when we got there, it was time for Milo’s nap. She slept through all of the gift opening and most of the way through visiting with everyone. Before too long, it was time to go back to Mom’s for Christmas dinner and the second round of gift-giving. Dinner was delicious, and we managed to prevent anyone from giving Milo food!

Milo was very sociable today. She was mostly happy when being passed around from person to person, and she still managed to nap pretty well. For her first Christmas, Milo received a Rock n’ Sleep seat, some clothes, and a few toys. She was very interested in the stuffed Mickey and Minnie, and she seemed happy playing in her new seat.

Altogether, today was a fun and happy day. We got plenty to eat, spent time with family, and our girl didn’t poop on any outfits. Wins all around.

Notes:

• The Christmas dress we bought Milo only a few weeks ago barely fits her now. Good thing she only had to wear it a couple of times!

• In the bath tonight, Milo sat up unassisted! She’s shown some ability to do this in recent weeks, though she’s always been kind of propped up with her hands. This time, she was just in the tub holding on to the sides, sitting up completely by herself.

• When doing tummy time these days, Milo tries so hard to crawl. She gets herself into a triangle pose, with head and arms on the ground, bum in the air, and feet on the ground. She can move herself little bits, but she doesn’t make any real progress. I think she’ll be crawling pretty soon.

• Milo has begun to hold her breath sometimes. She coughs, and after the final cough, she keeps her chest puffed up and then slowly releases the breath after a few seconds.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Three

Travel, Poop

Milo fell asleep in her Grandma’s arms last night while we sat on the sofa. It’s only the second time she’s nodded off like that, and it was super sweet that Grandma got the honor. After that, we put her down and she slept very well until 3:25am, which is when we woke her up to get ready for our flight. Milo always surprises us when we have to wake her up at an odd hour like this. She was bright eyed and happy all the way to the airport and until we boarded the flight. Then, we fed her and put her to sleep, which lasted the whole flight to Dallas.

The flight from Dallas to Corpus wasn’t as great; Milo got tired and fussed halfway through the flight (probably because we sat on the runway for a while before taking off), and she seriously resisted sleep. I ended up having to let her nurse (read: keep her mouth on my nipple) for a really long time to soothe her into sleep. The sleep was pretty deep, though, and it lasted until we reached the rental car.

In the car on the way to Rockport, our girl was fantastic. She just looked around and played the whole time. We even got to stop at a drive-thru without any crying or fussing! She’s slowly learning to tolerate being in the car, and I’m so, so thankful.

The biggest stories from today:

• Milo soiled FIVE outfits! That means that she pooped 5 separate times, and each time, some poop got on her outfit. I don’t think she’ll soon beat this record.

• Despite missing some sleep last night, Milo refused to take long naps today. The longest was a little over an hour. Hopefully this will not lead to a restless night in this new environment.

• Milo smiled big for Momers and was mildly fussed for everyone else.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Two

Holidays, Day Five

Milo slept through the night again! She went to bed at 9:45 last night and woke up at nearly 9am today!! There was some stirring, and even a moment of crying, but she soothed herself and didn’t need any milk. Of course, since this hasn’t happened in a while, my breasts were full of milk most of the night, which woke me up and kept me that way for some time. But still, Chase and I rested well, as did Milo, which we all need to get rid of this cold once and for all.

It was rainy today, but we went out anyway. Milo fell asleep in the car without any trouble on the way to meet up with Sam & Co at The Soda Shop in Davidson. Then, on the way home, she fell asleep in the car seat again without any fuss! She’s finally used to being in the car, I think. Also, she liked looking at the rain falling on the windows.

Notes:

• Milo has become almost a professional at soiling outfits.

• She now looks at the things she puts in her mouth. She will mouth all over something, and then pull it away from her mouth and look at whatever it is before voraciously mouthing it again.

• Milo spins and spins in her sleep. I’ll find her totally 180 from how I put her down.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-One

Holidays, Day Four

Debbie’s car is having some issues, so she and Chase took it to the dealer for a repair. And this morning Scott was out watching a movie with a friend, so that means that Milo and I were home alone for a while today. My girl is still a bit sick, which is (I think) why she’s pooped so much today, thus far (3 times before noon). We’re still suctioning her nose, which she hates but is helping.

We spent our time rolling around on the carpet and playing with some toys, which Milo hasn’t gotten to do a lot of since we got here. And we talked to Momers and practiced rolling from tummy to back, which Milo is slowly getting the hang of.

My girl has learned a new skill: scratching things with her fingernails on purpose. Last night, Chase watched her clasp her hands on the bedspread over and over, scratching it purposely. Then when I put her down in her peapod for bed, she rolled right onto her tummy, lifted her head, and began scratching the floor cushion of that, too! She just watched and scratched, listening to the sound it made. Of course, I picked her up and put her right back to sleep, but it was still fun to see.

Tonight, Milo went to sleep earlier than she has been. We’re slowly letting her adjust to the new time zone, so tonight we put her to bed at around 9:45. My girl was super tired and drifted off easily.

Babyvision

This evening I ended up on the bed, lying on my side while Milo was on her belly. She was crawling toward the crook of my arm, and as she got closer and closer, she ended up being just an inch or two from my face. Then I moved my arm back, and she crawled some more, and I moved my arm back again, and so on. This became increasingly awkward; I ended up hanging halfway off the edge of the bed.

But I kept doing it because being that close to Milo made me feel like I was inside her head. Every new piece of skin or hair or blanket, every new light, every new shadow that she noticed, I noticed. I felt how hard — and how joyful — it was to crawl each inch. I felt what it was like to be new. I felt what it was like to be my daughter, and at the same time to be me, and at the same time to be together for this epic, tiny little struggle, this whole world that was us on a bed one evening in one little room.

Day One Hundred and Thirty

Holidays, Day Three

My girl is getting sick again. We suctioned her nose this morning and got a good bit of snot out. I hope she gets over it swiftly. I just want to hold her all day when she’s not feeling well. But, we’re visiting family, and that means I have to let others do some of the cuddling. Sharing is hard.

This afternoon, we had a visit from some of Chase’s friends, and Milo loved having new faces to look at. She’s definitely a people watcher, so she just stared and stared at everyone. As usual, she was glad to rest in any arms that would have her, but we didn’t get the squeals of joy or marathon gabbing that we sometimes get from her. She was mellow and quiet, and she went down for her second nap without any difficulty at all. I attribute this to the slight sickness she has. Hopefully the rest will do her well.

This evening, Scott and Debbie made some good pizza and Scott’s friend Britney came over and entertained Milo for a while. She was much more talkative and happy this evening than she was earlier in the day.

Milo is getting better and better at grabbing things and bringing things to her mouth. Oh, and she’s quite adept at grabbing things with her feet, too! Often when Chase or I are changing a diaper, she will grab an arm or shirt with those little feet!! It’s pretty cute

Notes:

• Milo has soiled several outfits since she got here; we’ve gotten the poop out of most of them, though one may be beyond saving. She doesn’t soil as many outfits when we use the gDiapers, but we’re using disposable for now because a) she’s got a diaper rash, so the super dry diapers are helpful, and b) we’re on a trip, so the disposables are easier to get.

• The dog is getting used to Milo’s presence, though she still likes to be among all the people all the time. Milo has gotten her fair share of licks. I’d be happy if she went without dog licks for quite a while, if I’m being honest.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Nine

Holidays, Day Two

Milo slept nearly all night without a dream feed! I was exhausted from not really sleeping the night before, so I went to bed pretty much right after Milo was out, and it felt so flipping good to just sleep! Milo went down for the night at around 11pm, woke up to eat at 4am, then woke up for the day at 8ish. So, she’s still not getting as much sleep as she does at home, but she’s resting well.

I think Chase and I are learning a big lesson. Despite our worry about her sleeping on her tummy, it’s best to leave well enough alone if we can tell she’s breathing and comfortable. Last night, she went to sleep at 8:30, and we were hoping that she was down for the night. But when Chase checked on her, he tried to roll her onto her back, and she woke up, which essentially means that she had a 30 minute nap instead of being out for the night.

In the afternoon, we went to see Sam, and I was pretty nervous about taking Milo in the car again since she’s demonstrated that she basically hates it. However, the ride to his house was pretty good: Milo played and talked and only fussed toward the end. While at Sam’s, she was happy much of the time we were visiting, though she did resist napping. She loved looking at Sam and gave him lots of smiles! We walked around the Plaza Midwood area, Milo finally napped for about 30 minutes, and then we ate at The Diamond, where our girl got lots of smiles from the servers.

On the way back to Sam’s, we stopped at a friend’s office to check it out, and the car refused to start again. Milo took it in stride, playing and nursing in the back seat with me until about 20 minutes later, when Sam magically got the car to start again. Then more magic happened when Milo fell quietly asleep without a peep and stayed that way most of the at home.

Notes:

• I’m feeling better, and I think it’s mostly due to garlic and ginger. I’m really hoping I made it out of this sickness without infecting my girl, but time will tell.

• Milo’s diaper rash is still going, though not as bad.

• Milo figured out how to roll from tummy to back, but she only does it at night so far.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Eight

Holidays, Day One

Milo was great on the flight! She napped hard for 2 hours right at the start, then she played hard when she woke up. She was loud and happy and talked up a storm. Chase was a bit nervous about her being so loud on the plane, but I think she was fine; she wasn’t crying, and her squeals were clearly joyous. She spent a lot of time attacking a cloth book and chewing on a teething ring. When she got fussed, I fed her and she took another quick nap.

Of course, because she didn’t get in as much sleep as she normally does, she was over tired by the time we got in the car, so she cried and cried most of the way to Debbie’s. She then quickly fell asleep when we got here.

All night to was worried about my girl because she insists on rolling to her tummy to sleep. Also, we’ve got her in a new bed, and I think she was having some trouble adjusting to it.

So I was up quite a bit, sometimes just watching her roll around. She ended up sleeping until around 9am, which is not too bad. She was bright eyed and happy when I found her awake in her new bed! Then she finally got to play with Grandma!! So, day one in N.C. Included a trip to concord to look around at a big consignment shop with lots of antique furniture and décor, a fitful trip home in the dark, and a lot of time with grandma and Scott.

Notes:

• Milo definitely resists sleep at night in the car, though she managed to fall asleep on her own in the car seat once. Singing helped calm her some, even with my voice.

• Milo’s naps are pretty consistent, though she didn’t have much luck falling asleep at her earlier bedtime. We’re going to have to edge it up little by little. So far we’re up 30 min.

• Milo is very interested in Maggie and Trouble. Her first encounter with Maggie went well, and Milo even got a few licks.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Seven

Travel Day

This morning, we woke and checked on Milo and found her to be completely awake, laying on her tummy, looking around her room silently. It’s amazing how everything amazes her right now.

I thought I’d take our travel day to write a bit about separation anxiety.

I have to admit, I don’t like that Milo sleeps in a different room now. It makes me incredibly nervous to have her so far away from me for such a long time. I mean, she is in the room, in her crib from 8:30pm until (most days) 7:30am. It takes a lot of willpower to not go in and check on her every 10 minutes to make sure she’s warm/cool enough, not sleeping on her stomach, still breathing, not agitated, etc. Each night, when we lay her down, these are the things I think about.

Some nights, my anxiety gets the better of me. Like last night; I must have checked on her half a dozen times. I want so badly some nights to pick her up and bring her back to our bed so that I can be close to her a while longer. But the realist in me (i.e., Chase) knows that it’s best for everyone if she has her own space and we have ours. We all sleep better that way, and she learns how to self-soothe.

I can’t help but think about how this early separation anxiety is only a hint at what’s going to come in the future. I mean, how am I ever going to be able to leave her at daycare? or school? I can’t imagine not being right next to her all the time; allowing the possibility that she’ll experience things without being there to hear about it immediately.

But this is parenting, right? I have to learn to let go, little by little. And it starts with allowing my girl to have her own space and sleep well at night on her own.

Things I don’t want to forget:

• The magic of Milo’s first real laughs. Hearing her giggle makes me laugh every time.

• When Milo eats, she now gets distracted sometimes and pulls off of the nipple. She then turns away to look at whatever is interesting her, usually Chase, and it’s sometimes a real chore to get her to finish eating. Sometimes, she plays a little smiley game with me while she eats, pulling off the nipple to smile at me and then voraciously turning back to the nipple.

• Hearing Milo laying awake in her crib, cooing and talking, while Chase and I listen just on the other side of the wall.

• Mornings with our girl. The three of us in bed, awake and happy, just talking and cuddling all together. This is happiness, and it makes me realize just how in love with my life I really am.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Six

Garlic

I reek of garlic. I’ve consumed about an entire bulb of garlic since yesterday, and it’s made me so, so stinky. I’ve been burping and farting and pooping garlic all day. It’s really disgusting, though it did make my mom laugh when I told her about it. I don’t know how Milo can stand me today. I was worried that the garlic would be too strong and Milo would refuse to drink my breastmilk, but apparently nothing can stand between my girl and her milk. She’s been chowing down all day. Go figure.

Tomorrow is our flight to Charlotte, and I’m super excited! I’m a little nervous about how Milo will do on the flight, but probably everything will be ok. So tonight, we’re going to get everything ready and finish cleaning before we leave.

Milo’s sleep has been consistent these past few days. She goes down easily, eats at 11pm while still basically sleeping, wakes between 3-4am for more milk, and then sleeps until 7 or 8. We’re very lucky parents.

Things I already miss:

• how tiny Milo looked in her tight swaddle.

• having Milo in bed next to me and feeling her move around at night; feeling her inch over to me during the night and plant her face in my chest.

• Milo’s little baby cry.

• Milo’s farts. She used to be such a gassy little girl, and her farts were loud and long, and they made me laugh. Now, she only farts when she poops.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Five

Sick Again

This stinks. I’m right on the verge of getting sick again. This time, it’s chest congestion, so I’ve been drinking lots of hot ginger tea with honey because that’s supposed to help. I really don’t want to get Milo sick, so hopefully this clears up very soon. I looked up some natural remedies online, and lots of people recommend the following: honey, ginger, orange juice, yogurt, and raw garlic. So I decided to swallow some raw garlic to see if it helps. I’m also taking sudafed to try and get ahead of it.

Milo’s naps were good today. She woke up from two naps and put herself back to sleep! She’s doing so well at sleeping lately, I’m so proud of her. Also, last night wasn’t a total disaster. She didn’t roll over while she slept, and having an arm out of the swaddle didn’t wake her. She just slept and slept, waking only for her regular 3am feeding. Score!

Bumps in the night

Milo has settled into a pattern of waking for a feed around 3am. Last night was no exception, but it sounded different. Through the thin wall that separates our bed from her crib, I didn’t just hear cries and cooing… I heard scratches, creaks, bumps. I was actually a little afraid that some small animal had broken into her room and was scurrying about.

But when I went in to pick her up and bring her to mom, I saw that Milo herself was the culprit. She had shuffled to the far end of the crib and had evidently discovered that she could make a new noise by kicking sharply. Having discovered this cause-and-effect relationship, she was practicing. Which was exactly what the instructor of a sleep class we attended this weekend had told us she might do when she learns a new behavior.

We’ve already seen tons of new behavior from Milo — clasping hands, raising feet, laughing, smiling, tracking things with her gaze, and so on. But this might be the first time it feels like Milo has decided to do something on her own because she was interested, not just because it happened randomly or because one of us coaxed her into it. It’s the first thing she’s done that really feels like part of her personality.

Which, of course, makes me all the more impatient to get to know her.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Four