Day One Hundred and Eighty-Three

Sleep

Last night was pretty harrowing. Milo woke up at midnight and had a lot of difficulty getting back to sleep. I fed her, laid her down, and she was crying again 20 minutes later. So, I fed her a little big more because I thought maybe I hadn’t given her enough the first time. But she started crying just after I put her down again. All told, she was up for 2 hours, most of it was spent crying with Chase and I listening from the other side of the wall.

The baby sleep books told us that it’s best to let her cry for a few minutes, comfort her for about a minute or two, then let her cry for longer. Each time, we’re supposed to let her cry longer and spend less time comforting her. That way, she knows we’re still there to provide support and hopefully gets to sleep on her own.

Chase was the one who was able to provide the comfort for her. He went in, talked to and soothed her, rubbed her back and her feet, and she calmed right down. When I went in, she became more agitated and didn’t calm down at all, probably because she wanted me to pick her up or feed her. So it was Chase who had to do the comforting, which was hard for me. But he did a great job.

Milo then Woke again at 6am, and after I fed her, it didn’t take too long for her to get back to sleep. She slept until after 8, which felt like a miracle.

So, today I went to work at getting Milo to nap not in my arms, and it went surprisingly well. First, I put her down in her crib for her morning nap, and she did not like that at all. She was up within 1 minute. So, I played with her for a while longer until she was tired again, and this time she slept for 45 minutes on our bed without me next to her. Her next nap was a whopping 2 hours, again on the bed by herself. I was so excited! We’ll try to keep this up.

In the afternoon, Chase got home at around 4pm, and then we decided to go out for an afternoon walk at Land’s End. It was amazing, and Milo loved it! It was her first time out to the ocean (though we did not go down to the water), and she was just very observant of the world around her. We ended our walk at the Land’s End Labyrinth, and Chase walked Milo through it. We got some really great photos in front of the Golden Gate, and Milo was in good spirits almost until the end.

This evening’s bed time was good, and Chase and I got to watch a movie that we’ve been meaning to see. Not a bad day, especially given that I was so incredibly stressed when it started.

Notes:

• I tried giving Milo her cup again today, and it seems like she’s forgotten how to drink from the straw. I’ll have to give her more opportunities to try it out.

• Milo again wanted to stand to play all day, which was pretty tiring for me. She also wanted to sit to play and spent very little time on her tummy again. Though when she did get on her tummy, she got up on her hands and knees and rocked some more. It never gets old.

Day One Hundred and Eighty-Two

Off the Grid

Today we had a rather boring day around the house. Milo wanted to practice standing all day, so we did a lot of that. I’m convinced that I need to get rid of the play mat because she only wants to stand and play at it now, and it’s not rigid, so that’s not working. Instead, I’m going to look for a baby play table that she can sit or stand to play with.

We also played with blocks, which Milo still likes to see stacked as high as they can go, though she was reluctant to knock them down today. Her new block set comes in a wooden crate, and she’s often more interested in playing with the crate than the blocks, even though the crate is way too heavy for her to pick up. I hear that’s the way it goes.

She also got some soft books recently, so we spent time reading those. I thought she’s want to bite and chew on them, but instead she still prefers to bite all over her board books. Today The Very Hungry Caterpillar got a good chewing. The soft books don’t crinkle, so that’s probably why there’s no real interest.

In the evening, Chase got home early, so we went to Off the Grid, a gathering of food trucks not far from our apartment. I got my favorite burrito in the city, and Chase got some smothered fries. Milo seemed to really love being out at night. To boot, there was a live jazz trio there, so we got to hear some good music. Milo loved that, too. She was happy as a clam the entire time we were out.

Once home, Chase spent a bit of time playing with Milo before bed. She cried just a little bit when we put her down for bed, but she was off to sleep in just a minute or so.

Notes:

• Milo is starting to get really excited to see Chase when he gets home from work. It’s really fun to see her smile big at him!

• My girl had more carrots today, but she wasn’t terribly eager to eat them. I’m going to keep trying to interest her in food.

Day One Hundred and Eighty-One

Rocking

Chase was eager to play with Milo on his first morning back at home, and I was eager to get a bit more sleep, so he spent some one-on-one time with our girl this morning. He helped her practice standing while holding on to the sofa. It’s not the first time she’s done this (I help her stand up almost daily), but she’s definitely able to stand unsupported for longer than she used to, which is to say a couple of seconds. Of course, we keep hands very near her at all times because she’s still pretty wobbly. But she loves it! Sometimes she doesn’t let us put her in a sitting or laying position - she makes her body stiff and remains upright.

After Chase went to work, Milo and I got to playing. Milo was totally different today than yesterday: she played independently for quite a while without requiring my immediate presence. I sat nearby and watched, and she still looked at me a lot - almost like she was checking that I was still there and paying attention to her; I talked to and interacted with her the whole time, but she was happy to try crawling, play with toys, and pivot on the carpet for a while. It was refreshing.

This afternoon Milo began rocking while on her hands and knees, which I was totally psyched about! Previously, she’s gotten onto her hands and knees, but this is the first sign of near movement. She was very excited about it! I even got a short little video to capture the moment!

Overall, Milo had good naps today. I tried again to put her down to sleep on her own, and that lasted about 2 minutes. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow. Anyway, she did sleep well for all 3 naps, which is always good.

Notes:

• Milo is not polite about watching us eat anymore. She actively reaches for any and all food that comes near her. It’s time to get serious about giving her baby food. Hopefully the poop situation will get better.

Day One Hundred and Eighty

Day Two, No Chase

Today was rough. I started feeling sick this morning, which is always difficult when I’m alone watching Milo. But today was doubly tough because Milo was pretty demanding. It was the kind of day when she wanted to be sitting on my lap, or playing with me right next to her, so it was hard to do simple things like make some food or go to the restroom.

In the afternoon, she finally pooped (which I think might have been the main reason for her fussiness), and it was another doozy. She loves to poop when she’s in the exersaucer, for some reason. Maybe it’s all the jumping she does? Anyhow, that poop got everywhere and it stunk up the whole apartment. Chase and I have begun to wonder if her poop is going to be this foul smelling from here on out, or if maybe it’s because she’s not pooping often. Time will tell.

After the poop, she didn’t mellow out much. She spent a lot of time standing up and sitting to play, with almost no time on her tummy practicing crawling. So it looks like she won’t master that skill before Chase gets home. The time she did spend on her tummy was great, though: we were both on the bed, and Milo rolled and shuffled her way to Sophie several times! I don’t like her to harass Sophie too much, so I repositioned Milo each time she reached her destination. And each time, she was successful at getting to Sophie. Determination!

Bedtime was pretty easy again. I decided to give Milo a bath tonight, which she always loves. Tonight, though, I had the water just a tad too warm, so when I tried to dip her feet in the bath, her little toes clung to the side of the tub like she was terrified. Oops! I drained the tub and added cooler water, and then she was happy. I’ve been using the little scrubber to scrub her scalp (gently) in hopes of loosening up the little spots of cradle cap she’s got up there. I don’t know if it’s doing much good on that front, but Milo seems to like the scalp massage.

After that, my girl went to sleep easily, and Chase got in at around 11. He brought lots of cheese!

Notes:

• Milo is very into standing. Very.

• Sometimes I lay with Milo on the bed or the floor and let her crawl/shimmy toward me. My favorite days are those when she gets on me and it feels like we’re wrestling. Or when she pulls on my clothes and makes noise, like a little monster. She’s cute.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Nine

Day One, No Chase

Chase left this morning at around 5am. He’s in Seattle until late tomorrow night, and he has promised to bring back lots of Beecher’s cheese to make up for his absence. But seriously, I think the separation is hard on all three of us, and I’m glad that it’s only 2 days. It’s a little preview, actually, because once we move away and Chase is working from home, he’ll be making a trip back to the city probably once per month. Our little distance has been fine so far.

I couldn’t really have asked for Milo to behave any better than she did today, actually. She was chipper, smiley, and pretty active all day. This morning she didn’t want a nap right away, but all of her naps today were decent length. We made a few trips out of the apartment, which is always a good thing.

On the first trip, I carried Milo front-facing, which she absolutely loves. She kicked and bounced from the time we left until we got back to the apartment, which is probably why she slept so well for her second nap. Then, we spent a lot of the afternoon playing on the carpet and singing and talking.

In development news, Milo is closer than ever to crawling. She got up on her knees for the first time, but she didn’t really go anywhere from there. She just got up on her hands and knees, stayed there for a few seconds, and then fell forward. I tried to help a bit, but it was the same thing each time. While I’m very eager for her to learn to crawl, I really hope it doesn’t happen for the first time while Chase is away. We’ll see how it goes.

This evening, Milo and I headed out to get some food, and I did not wear her front-facing. As a result, she squirmed and complained a lot trying to see everything. Lesson learned: I’ll be doing a lot more front-facing from now on.

This evening was nice, as Milo and I just kind of sat together and looked at each other a lot. It’s getting harder to know when she’s ready for sleep at night because her sleep signals aren’t as obvious as they used to be. So we’re just going by time these days. Milo was asleep by 8:30 tonight, and I was pretty pleased that I pulled off the whole bedtime routine by myself without fussing her too much. Again, I’m crossing my fingers for a good night of sleep from our girl.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Eight

Super Bowl

We’re not the biggest football fans. I’d definitely characterize us as fair weather 49ers fans, and they have been just awful the past two years. So the Super Bowl wasn’t a big deal for us this year. Well, it was more a pain in the butt than it has been in the past because of all the hoopla involved in hosting the game. Even though the game was played in Santa Clara, which is well south of here, San Francisco got stuck with all of the pre-game festivities, celebrity nonsense, traffic woes, complaints, and the bill. So, I’ve been avoiding downtown for a while, and Chase has found his way around the detours.

Anyhow, we ended up having JP, Puja, and Avani over, so we made some snacks and sort of watched the game. It seemed like a boring game, to be honest. And I forgot to pay attention to the commercials. But it was nice having company, and it’s great to see Avani growing up and running around!

Milo got a little fussed because she didn’t get her late afternoon nap due to all of the stimulation. She ended up falling asleep somewhere around 6pm for about 30 minutes, and then she went to sleep pretty easily this evening. So, we’ll see how this affects her overall sleep tonight.

In the morning today, we all had a pretty nice time just laying around, talking, listening to podcasts, and enjoying each other’s company. I’ve been avoiding thinking about Chase leaving for 2 days, but the family time we had today eased the anxiety a little bit. It was just a great day.

Notes:

• It was nice to see Milo and Avani together, even though they’re too small to really play with each other yet. They were interested in each other, though, and Avani was very sweet to her all afternoon.

• One of the greatest things about seeing Avani growing up is that we get to know what to expect from Milo in the next year. Today, Avani was all about the dips, and she kept getting guac and hummus everywhere! She also kept picking up carrots, nibbling on them, and promptly forgetting about them. So JP and Puja were all over the place cleaning dip off of things and picking up carrot pieces. It may sound odd, but Chase and I weren’t put out by it all, and we really enjoyed seeing her running around and being a little kid. She just keeps getting smarter and cuter!

Our triad

Milo is on the cusp of crawling, which means it’s almost the last time we’ll ever be able to leave her somewhere and be reasonably sure that she’s going to stay. We’ve been telling people how excited we are that she’ll be able to crawl soon, and they tell us we’re going to miss these days — the days we didn’t have to be vigilant.

We probably will? But so far every new development has made Milo a bit more of an active participant in … our triad? I guess I can say “family,” but I worry that that word conjures the same notions here as it does when you see it emblazoned across the bottom of a picture frame, or in kitschy cut tin letters on some anonymous HGTV living room wall. That kind of family is what you get for free when a couple has a baby: the three of you are linked forever, and unless something goes very wrong, it’s a constant that you love and support each other.

That’s not what I think of when I think of our triad and how excited I am for Milo to join it. Think instead of two people who are deeply, deliriously in love. They’re just two people, so they’re not a family, but over time the space between them fills up with something that is new and different and better than either lover alone. Jokes become inside jokes, of course, but every time someone makes the same face again or cooks the same dish again, or they visit a place they’ve been before, it also becomes an inside face, an inside dish, an inside place. A whole world is created.

Misty and I live in my favorite world, and while Milo has had privileged access to that world since before her first day on earth, she hasn’t been able to understand or appreciate it. And she won’t, not fully, for many years. But when she crawls, she can crawl to us, and we can crawl with her, and the world between Misty and I will make a little more room for three, and it will be new and different and better than our world was alone.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Seven

Tongue Out

I love weekends, but this morning was tough. For some reason, I felt like I didn’t sleep last night. We went to bed around midnight, Milo wanted to nurse at 1am, then it felt like I blinked and Milo was crying again at 5am to nurse again. So I nursed her, and then she slept until around 7. Luckily, Chase was a godsend again and he played with her while I slept a bit more.

After Milo’s first quick nap, we went out to Costco to get a few items. I should mention that Milo has adapted to riding in cars, and she no longer fusses - at least not for the short trips we take around town sometimes. She just looks around, plays with whatever toy she has in the carseat with her, and talks a lot. It’s nice.

She was also very interested in looking around in Costco, but she didn’t get fussed at all while we were out until just when we were getting home because she wanted another nap. So, when we got into the apartment, I got right down to business feeding her and helping her get to sleep. Chase was then gracious enough to heat lunch.

We spent some of today cleaning up and doing some chores that we’d been putting off (laundry, cleaning kitchen, etc.). After Milo woke from her nap, we gave her some carrots. She was very vocal when Chase was trying to feed her, which made things difficult. But, she didn’t practice her spit-bubbles while eating (i.e., spit out the food) like she did with the carrots, so I call it a success. We’ll see if her bowels feel the same way.

Notes:

• More crawling practice, though still no real crawling.

• We got some textured balls for Milo, and she reacted very well to them. She can grab them easily, and since they’re all different textures, each one is a different feeling when she chews or grabs it.

• Milo began sticking out her tongue excessively today. I mean, that thing was just out today. Just all day; tongue out. It was adorable.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Six

Smiles

Milo was up at her usual time today, and she was just as chipper as ever. I think my favorite thing is when we bring her to bed with us, and she “crawls” around and pushes into us while we lay on the bed. She hasn’t mastered crawling yet, so really this movement involves lots of kicking and rolling and pushing her head into things. But she just has so much energy and she’s so happy in the mornings, it’s fun to be right next to her when she’s trying so hard to move herself around.

At lunch time, we went to our sign language class. Even though Milo was in great spirits all morning, she was not happy in sign language class today, mostly because she was tired. She was so loud when I had her on the carpet with the other babies, so I tried standing her up so that she could burn off some energy. Then she was very hard to handle; she kept trying to crawl, trying to crawl over me, wanting to sit and then immediately scooting herself into laying and becoming fussed because she didn’t want to lay. I ended up standing up with her for a while, and then I fed her, and by some miracle, she ended up falling asleep right at the end of class.

After about a 40 minute nap, Milo was up and ready to face the afternoon. She was all smiles on the bus on the way home. She still really knows how to charm people; she smiled at just about everyone she saw, and even talked a bit to some folks. She’s still a people watcher, but her attention span is pretty short. She darts her head around at everyone and everything. It’s nice to see her so interested in things, though. I love talking to her about what things are called, what they’re used for, etc. It’s going to be nice when she can talk, too.

In the afternoon, she refused to nap until 5pm, so then I couldn’t let her sleep for a very long time. Chase got home on the early side, and since I hadn’t gone grocery shopping, we decided to get dinner from Street Taco. Milo was observant as usual, but she’s now beginning to be a bit fussy when we eat, probably because she wants to eat what we’re eating. In due time she’ll be able to.

Regarding food, Milo has now tried avocado and broccoli, and tomorrow we’re going to give her carrots. After that, cauliflower then sweet potatoes. I’ve been slow at giving her food because she’s not processing it very quickly.

Notes:

• Milo is practically an expert on going backward now. She pushes herself backward and pivots so well, she can basically go wherever she wants to. She just doesn’t know how to get where she wants yet, but she always manages to move. I love it, and I can’t wait for the real crawling to begin. I want to chase her!

• My girl laughs so easily at just about anything now. I think she does it now just to practice a new skill, kind of like when she started shrieking or whining - she can do it, so she wants to do it all the time. I’m not complaining. I love that little laugh.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Five

Blah

I wouldn’t say that today was a difficult day. I also wouldn’t say it was particularly interesting. It was one of those days that just felt like any other day. We played in her bumbo a bit, but Milo didn’t want to be there very long. She played in the exersaucer for a very little time, but she got it dirty, so she couldn’t stay there long.

Milo was very nice this afternoon as I cooked dinner. She played in her high chair as I narrated dinner preparation. I’m thinking about giving her egg yolk soon because my baby nutrition class leader said that it can be a very good first food for baby. I was tempted today, but we’re planning on giving carrots soon, so I refrained.

Anyhow, this evening’s bedtime routine was nice. I think that either we’re starting the routine too late or Milo is responding to her sleep cues very quickly because lately as soon as we turn on the white noise and start singing, Milo gets super cranky and begins to cry. She calms and falls asleep without too much trouble each night, but the crying is becoming a pretty regular thing. But she’s still going to sleep easily, so I guess I shouldn’t be too worried about it.

Notes:

• Milo finally had a good (and very stinky) poop today. I think our course of action is going to be a little bit of prune juice every day along with her solids so that there’s a little something to help her system process what she’s eating.

• Chase got home late, so there wasn’t much time for play before bed. But Milo was excited, as usual, to see him and spend a little bit of time with him this evening.

• Milo continues to get stronger and stronger. She still loves to grab our camelbak water bottle whenever we’re drinking out if it, and lately it’s getting more difficult to keep her from pulling it right out of our hands. Chase and I are hoping that our habit of drinking water out of that bottle will encourage Milo to want to drink lots of water. They mimic what they see, right?

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Four

Fusser

Milo was up early today. Luckily, we went to bed early, so it wasn’t terrible. She was super easy to handle this morning, but she became fussed in the afternoon for a while. I think the lack of pooping may be making her uncomfortable, as much of the fussing came during a bout of stinky farts.

I spent some time rubbing her tummy today, hoping it’ll lead to some output, and Milo was mostly ok with the massage. She just played with her toys and didn’t squirm much, which was a welcome surprise. But during the fussy time, she mostly just wanted to be held. So I spent some quality time holding my girl, though I did my best to encourage lots of movement.

Milo seemed to enjoy playing with some of her new toys today. I think the fussiness interfered with some of the fun, but she chewed on a great many things. The stand out favorite was a wooden giraffe that stands up on its own and is easy for her to grab and chew on. She especially loved it when I pretended that the giraffe was giving her kisses. She laughed nearly every time!

We played the mimic game a bit more today, and it made her talk so much. In the evening, I made a gasping sound (like I was surprised by something), and that made Milo laugh, too! She laughs more easily these days, and I love, love, love it.

Bedtime was easy. I’ve gotten less scared to put her down while she’s still awake because she’s shown that she can fall asleep on her own if she’s drowsy. So that’s something to feel good about.

Tonight, Chase and I continued our house hunt and had some dessert while Chase booked a room in Austin for our upcoming visit. A pretty relaxing evening, actually.

Notes:

• Not much news on the crawling. She’s getting better at going backward, but she still insists on putting her face on the ground while pushing forward with her feet (not knees). She gets where she wants to go most of the time, but it’s not pleasant for her.

• We finally gave her a little bit of prune juice today, so maybe we’ll see something tomorrow.

• I worry that I kiss Milo too much. I just love giving her kisses. But she doesn’t always love it. So I might try to back off a little. Tiny bit.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Three

Toys

Milo was great last night, and she only woke up to nurse at around 5am. She had a bit of trouble getting back to sleep, but she finally did, and then we got to sleep until around 7:30. It was glorious. She’s amazing. And she is still her usual, chipper self in the mornings. While I often try to get in a few extra minutes of sleep in the mornings while Chase plays with her, I still appreciate that she’s so happy and playful most days when she just wakes up.

The rest of the day was not too remarkable. Milo had short naps in the morning and then at around noon, and then a long nap in the afternoon. She and I played on the floor a lot; I stacked things on her little bumbo table top, and she tore through everything I put there. She’s begun to reach for things behind her, which is exciting. But she tolerates the chair for less and less time these days.

We went out for groceries, and Milo was observant as ever. The remarks today were more about her hair than her eyes, with one woman commenting that people pay good money to get their hair to look like hers (i.e., sticking up everywhere). It’s true. Everyone wants to look like Milo. I should be wearing her front-facing more now that she’s so big, but I’m always afraid that she’s going to get tired and not be able to fall asleep that way. Silly, I guess.

I like to keep an eye on Craigslist for good deals on baby things, and today I struck the motherlode when it comes to nice, wooden, educational toys for our girl! I emailed someone about a ton of toys, and after getting confirmation, I made a quick taco dinner, Chase and I scarfed it down, and we rented the car to pick the stuff up. When we got home, it was like Christmas for all of us! We took everything out to look at it, and Milo attacked whatever she could get to. The abacus was her favorite, but she was very eager to look at and slobber all over everything! I’m excited to let her inspect each new item.

Notes:

• Still no poop. Maybe time for more prune juice soon.

• I still love feeding Milo. She’s changing in the ways that she falls asleep and shows tiredness. Sometimes when I’m feeding her, she’ll hum or grab my finger and wave my arm around. This means she’s not going to sleep. Sometimes she’ll kick frantically. This means she’ll fall asleep soon but is kind of fighting it. I don’t think nursing her will ever get old.

Day One Hundred and Seventy-Two

Another Monday

We had a fairly productive day today! Milo was cool as a cucumber while I did some work, which was just fine by me! She was happy to play with her toys and watch me work while I talked to her. Mondays are usually difficult days, but Chase stayed for a bit this morning, which helped with the transition.

Milo and I have begun a little game of mimicking. She’ll make a noise, and then I’ll make something close to the same noise. Then she’ll make a different noise, and I’ll follow suit. We just keep going until she gets tired of it or forgets or gets distracted. So far it’s good fun! Milo seems to like it when I make the same noises as she does.

Not much else for the day. We went to the store, cleaned the apartment a bit, and made a tasty slow cooker dinner. In the evening, Milo went to sleep and Chase and I stayed up far later than we should have. But our girl has been sleeping well, so we should be able to get in at least 5-6 hours tonight.