Milo and Behold

Holidays, Day Ten

misty  ·  Mon, Dec 28, 2015

I’m getting better at leaving the house without Milo. Since we got to Rockport, Chase and I have gone to the store several times while Milo stayed at home with Mom, and I am having a little less anxiety about it each time. Today, Chase and I were away from her for more than an hour while running errands, and I didn’t feel like we needed to rush back. Now, each time we’ve left her, she’s been napping. I think it’s going to be a bit more time before I can leave her with someone while she’s awake. Baby steps.

Another new development is that Mom discovered that Milo is ticklish in her underarms! Mom was playing with her on the sofa this morning and noticed that Milo laughed each time she tickled her underarms. We were all pretty excited.

As for the day, it started out very sweet: after watching Dear Zachary last night, I was eager to get my hands on that girl this morning. So as soon as I heard her making some noise this morning, I rushed to get her into the bed. I fed her, we played a bit, and then she fell asleep in Chase’s arms and slept for an extra 30 minutes or so. I woke up and saw them, and my heart melted. It was another of those moments that felt exactly like happiness.

The rest of the day was spent at Mom’s again, though we did get to see Dad a few times. Mom got started cooking the meat for tamales, which we’ll put together tomorrow. Much of our time was devoted to cooking and cutting meat and cooking supper for everyone. It’s quite a job cooking a meal for more than 2 people.

Milo had a super poop this afternoon, which I was relieved about since she didn’t poop yesterday. I think she was relieved, too. She also seemed a little fussed for part of the day, so I ended up nursing her more than normal.

This evening, I nursed my girl before bed, and I held onto her for a bit longer than I usually do; it’s just so comforting to hold her close to me for a few minutes. I remind myself every day that sometime not so long from now, my girl won’t be small enough to hold this way, or she won’t want me to hold her this way. And I hold her a bit closer for just a bit longer, and I rest my head against hers, and I rub her little back and feel her chest against mine, and I just love and love and love as much and as hard as I can in those tiny moments. And I hold on tight to that feeling as I lay her down for the night, knowing she’ll be so far away from me for so long.

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