Travel Day
misty · Fri, Dec 18, 2015This morning, we woke and checked on Milo and found her to be completely awake, laying on her tummy, looking around her room silently. It’s amazing how everything amazes her right now.
I thought I’d take our travel day to write a bit about separation anxiety.
I have to admit, I don’t like that Milo sleeps in a different room now. It makes me incredibly nervous to have her so far away from me for such a long time. I mean, she is in the room, in her crib from 8:30pm until (most days) 7:30am. It takes a lot of willpower to not go in and check on her every 10 minutes to make sure she’s warm/cool enough, not sleeping on her stomach, still breathing, not agitated, etc. Each night, when we lay her down, these are the things I think about.
Some nights, my anxiety gets the better of me. Like last night; I must have checked on her half a dozen times. I want so badly some nights to pick her up and bring her back to our bed so that I can be close to her a while longer. But the realist in me (i.e., Chase) knows that it’s best for everyone if she has her own space and we have ours. We all sleep better that way, and she learns how to self-soothe.
I can’t help but think about how this early separation anxiety is only a hint at what’s going to come in the future. I mean, how am I ever going to be able to leave her at daycare? or school? I can’t imagine not being right next to her all the time; allowing the possibility that she’ll experience things without being there to hear about it immediately.
But this is parenting, right? I have to learn to let go, little by little. And it starts with allowing my girl to have her own space and sleep well at night on her own.
Things I don’t want to forget:
The magic of Milo’s first real laughs. Hearing her giggle makes me laugh every time.
When Milo eats, she now gets distracted sometimes and pulls off of the nipple. She then turns away to look at whatever is interesting her, usually Chase, and it’s sometimes a real chore to get her to finish eating. Sometimes, she plays a little smiley game with me while she eats, pulling off the nipple to smile at me and then voraciously turning back to the nipple.
Hearing Milo laying awake in her crib, cooing and talking, while Chase and I listen just on the other side of the wall.
Mornings with our girl. The three of us in bed, awake and happy, just talking and cuddling all together. This is happiness, and it makes me realize just how in love with my life I really am.