Midweek Update

misty  ·  Wed, Sep 30, 2015

This girl is heavy to carry around already. Don’t get me wrong; I still love wearing her, but I’m afraid of how heavy she’ll become with time. If she feels heavy now at only ~11 pounds, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to wear her when she’s 25 lbs! But Chase and I are committed to babywearing instead of using a stroller all the time, so I suppose her added weight over time will just help with my overall fitness.

This week is going well so far. Milo’s breastfeeding continues to be uneven - one day she wants to eat every hour from only one breast; the next day she wants to eat every 2 hours from both breasts. She’s growing well, so I’m not too concerned about it. The only thing I do get concerned about is the fluctuation it might cause in my milk supply. So far no issues, though. ::fingers crossed::

Updates about me: I’m eating meat again (have been since Milo was a week or two old) and have vowed to discontinue this after the first of the year. I haven’t lost any more weight; in fact, I’ve GAINED 2 pounds and am holding steady at my new weight, which I’m comfortable with. I still have trouble drinking enough water, but I’m making a hearty effort.

Notes:

• I still find myself being scared all the time. Scared about whether Milo is not eating enough, whether she’s breathing at night, scared that she’s feeling some pain that she can’t communicate, scared that I’m not doing a good enough job at mothering her, etc. It’s a bitch, these emotions that come with creating a human!
• I love staring at Milo’s little face when she’s in my arms. I LOVE it! I think it might be causing some headaches, but it’s well worth it.
• My favorite part of the day is our morning nap. Milo lays next to me and often props her hand on my chest as we sleep. It’s adorable.
• Sometimes Milo holds my hand (read: finger) when she eats.
• I love it when I leave Chase and Milo alone in a room and come back to find Chase talking sweetly to our girl. It melts my heart.