Crying

misty  ·  Thu, Sep 17, 2015

Now that Milo is getting a bit older, she’s really able to let out a scream. Her cries escalate so much more quickly, and she easily becomes inconsolable. We haven’t started using the pacifier yet, as we have been advised to wait until 6+ weeks so that it doesn’t interfere with breastfeeding. We’re still practicing the 5 Ss, but those don’t work 100% of the time. In fact, once Milo really gets going, the shushing and swaddling are rarely enough to bring her back to calmness.

I don’t want to make it seem like this happens all the time. It doesn’t. It happens when she’s overly tired and can’t get to sleep, so mostly at night when she’s about ready to sleep for several hours. And usually breastfeeding is enough to calm her.

But when she gets that worked up, it makes me a little emotional. And by “a little,” I mean it makes me cry and feel upset for the rest of the evening. Chase is amazing, and he tries to stick with the 5 Ss until she is soothed. This means that throughout her screaming, he keeps shushing and swaying with her. This means that I’m pacing nearby trying not to get too freaked out or start sobbing. We’re not always successful in our endeavors.

I also need to mention that I find myself fretting over every little thing. When she whimpers as she sleeps, I fret. Should I do something? Is she having a nightmare? When she seems to have difficulty with her gas or poops, I fret. Should I massage her stomach? When she breathes unevenly at night as she sleeps, I fret. Should I stay awake and listen to her? Did she stop breathing? But the crying is the worst. I ache for her when she screams the way she does. I can’t wait for the day that Milo is able to tell me what’s troubling her. What a good day that will be. Until then, I’ll be here, fretting over something, I’m sure.