Waiting
misty · Thu, Sep 3, 2015I’ve never been good at waiting. I’m an instant gratification kind of girl, as so many of us are these days. So things like a reward system for finishing school work never did it for me - I’d always give myself the reward first and then delay the work.
I think this is what’s so hard about parenting right now. I keep thinking about how great it’s going to be when Milo is older and we can do more things. I keep thinking about how fun it’ll be when she’s old enough to play at playgrounds or go on hikes with Chase and me. How amazing it’ll be when she loves books and going to bookstores, when we can take her on rides at amusement parks.
Right now, all Ms. Milo does is sleep, fuss, eat, and poop. Not in that particular order, but sometimes in that order. I remind myself daily that I need to not get caught up in thinking about how great it’s going to be when she’s older because someday, when she can do all of those great things, I’m going to be thinking about now - how amazing she was when she was just a tiny little thing that I could hold in my arms and stare at for hours. I’m going to miss these days, when her dark gray eyes were exploring the world around her for the first time, when every yawn was amazing, when every poop made me smile, when getting her to sleep felt like such an accomplishment.
So I’ve been doing a lot of looking at my girl. Her amazing features are more and more defined every day. When she’s swaddled, sometimes she falls asleep so fast it’s like a tiny miracle. When she cries, we hold her hands and shush in her ear, and she quiets right down. When I hold her, she looks at me from time to time, getting to know my face. Those eyebrows that I can’t get enough of. How voraciously she eats and sometimes burps with my nipple still in her mouth (that’s amazing and always makes me laugh).
All of those other amazing big-girl things can wait. I’m doing my best to enjoy Milo’s babyhood every day.