Back on the clock
chase · Thu, Sep 10, 2015I returned to work on Tuesday, and I have way too much to get done in the next few weeks. It doesn’t help that I’ve gotten used to an anything-goes schedule; for the first few days this week it was incredibly easy to get distracted either by low-priority “fun” work or by simply reading the Internet. On Wednesday night the result was that I came home an hour later than planned. On Wednesday night the result was that when Milo woke us up at 2am, I stayed awake thinking about everything I should have already done and still needed to do.
The rub is that my time is now, more than ever, a zero-sum game. If I’m less productive at work, I get less time with Milo and Misty… or my work doesn’t live up to the standard I’d like to hold myself to. I’m hoping this will motivate me and help me prioritize and focus; maybe having a child will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to my professional life.
But being on the clock still feels alien to me, as is has felt at least since Peace Corps and as it probably will feel for the rest of my life. Can I avoid the clock entirely? Probably not, but I can still look forward to having this crunch time pass, and I can look forward (with fondness, where I think many parents feel dread) to all the times in the next few decades when Milo will bust our schedule and put us squarely on Cape Verdian time, where we belong.